Wow. this is a normal semi-new feeling, sort of exhilarating and scary and absolutely wonderful:
I am finished.
Meaning, I took my last exam yesterday and I am a’graduatin’ this Sunday.
Done.
Free bird!
Done with my undergrad degree.
Master’s in the future….maybe, but for now. DONE!
hahaha, DONE! hahahah DONNNNNNEEEE!
Free bird. I love this new feeling.
COME, CELEBRATE WITH ME!!!!!
We are free!
Everything is moving so fast.
So fast.
Running in the frost this morning, that was fast.
Going from work, to meeting, to school, those days go fast.
I leave for Chicago in less than two weeks.
I graduate from the University of Minnesota in less than three weeks.
I leave for Ecuador in less than two months.
So fast.
The seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years…they go fast sometimes.
And then I look out my window and see a little, white puff of cotton floating in the breeze.
Those moments, they go slow.
Drinking my coffee in the morning, sitting in the bright, sometimes dull light of the morning, that moment goes slow.
Listening to music while lost in a dream, those seconds move slow.
Talking with a dear friend, Richard, my family, I beg for those moments to go slow.
Taking one step in front of the other, walking to an unknown destination, slow moments.
Sitting in class watching the clock, painfully slow sometimes.
The seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years…they go slow sometimes.
I like the rhythm of life.
The interludes, the solos, the harmonies, the staccato, the bridges, those familiar choruses, the different verses, the rests, the beats, the bass, the drum beating wildly in my chest, giving me no moment of rest but a steady beat to keep moving on, on, on.
I like the composer best. The one that knows when to put in a rest, a melody, and a accompanying harmony, to make two sound so beautiful as one.
Yeah, the composer definitely knows best.
How did I get on this subject of music? Here is a picture that quiets my soul. It makes me think of community, communion, and stillness:
weeks like this:
Well wonderful friends!
It has been ages!
What has happened in these months of absence?
LOTS.
A little something like:
1. starting a new job…like a new BIG job for a BIG, HUGE, company.
2. working 10 hour days at this new job
3. Spanish projects, presentation, tests, etc.
4. UofM classes, projects, resumes, transcripts, graduation…oh yeah…..
5. i am graduating.
6. planning graduation, dates, tickets, ordering, last-minute details
7. summer planning, ecuador, peru, colombia, mexico
8. travel plans to a Mexican wedding…SO EXCITED. my first. and for a dear friend.
9. ministry planning, merge, future, this summer,
10. guitar teaching, adding new students, lessons, progress
11. running, running, running, biking, running
12. back from El Cedral….maybe a post later on about that beauty of a week.
13. independent study spanish time
14. non-profit organization research, network interviews, volunteer
15. practicing for playing music in a wedding…so excited!!!!!
16. upcoming adventures to Winona with a best friend to see a best friend!!!!
17. upcoming adventures to Chicago and Kansas…so excited!!!!
18. megabus….18 hour bus rides, tickets, camera, packing, planning, routing….
19. hispanic outreach in WI meetings, planning
20. quitting new job.
21. REST.
I am sure you have a list this long, if not longer, of activities, end of school assignments, and daily life as well. To be honest, this is a good pace, but to be even more honest, it was starting to become so full and packed that time with my Father, peace, rest, and sitting, listening, and reading went out the door (granted, there are times in life that will be like that but…). Time with friends, time with loved ones…..started getting eaten up, bite by bite by things that life threw at me.
And that is when mid-run, I stopped, came to a halt and realized that God was trying to tell me something…..and that was:
Be intentional.
“But I am” I thought. Not so much. Being intentional about what you eat, where you walk, where you drive to is one thing, but being intentional about what eats up your time, being intentional about your relationship with God, with your family, with your friends, with the dreams and passions that are in your heart…is completely a different page in the book.
I was letting life come at me, with no plan, no visibility, just gliding along on a conveyor belt, not really knowing or caring where I was ending up until God put me in a certain situation that made me see OH SO clearly how he gave me this brain, this heart with these passions and dreams to be intentional about.
to be intentional about praying about them, getting off my butt and doing something about them, and not just letting life glide me along wherever it might.
So, all of this to say. I am learning to be more intentional. I am hopping off the conveyor belt and walking. No more gliding. Walking. Well, maybe dancing too!
So, maybe I will post more….yeah I will. I hope this day for you is sunny and lovely, unlike the clouds and grey that I am seeing. But I’ll take it. I like this day.
old soul. dear friend. weathered heart. but strong again.
i know times have made you hard, but have made you soft as well.
deep lines, like that of an old oak tree. roots that go down deep, deeper than the sea.
you’ve bled, you’ve soaked, you’ve hurt, and you’ve spoke.
old soul. dear friend. weathered heart. please be strong again.
winds have pushed you, the waves that broke your heart, have begun to help you see, who you really are.
in Him and in your community.
you are many layers, you are many memories, you are greatly connected to others, can’t you see?
open your eyes, look beyond, embrace faith and never let go. live faith and circumstances grow dim.
never forget the promises that have got you this far, never forsake love or peace or jutice or rightenouness.
or forgiveness.
hope is stronger than the force of gravity, grabs at your hands, makes you see. makes you walk again. makes you run again. makes you dance again….it makes you sing.
never stop. do not give up. redemption works in different ways than you might expect.
because you are a redemption. each day, a redemption.
He redeems you.
old soul. dear friend. weathered heart. now you can love again.
In 5 days I am going back to my home away from home….to the lovely, little, Mayan village of El Cedral.
This place, these people, the memories….all hold a very special place in my heart and I am so happy to be going back.
May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart. Amen.
May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people. Amen.
May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy. Amen.
May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really CAN make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God’s grace, to do what others claim cannot be done. Amen.
And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator,
Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word who is our brother and Saviour,
and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide,
be with you and remain with you, this day and forevermore.
AMEN
Dreary weather, lots of fresh snow, favorite b-fast of oatmeal and coffee and a quiet time of listening and praying.
That sums up my morning.
I try to squeeze in every drop and breathe in every second of the purposefully slow, quiet, truth-filled mornings, just how I like them.
Because lately, my days have not been slow, quiet, or truth-filled at all, but fast, busy, brain-hurting, no-time-left-to-do-anything type of days.
They are filled with
This is not the end
This is not the end of this
We will open our eyes wide, wider
This is not our last
This is not our last breath
We will open our mouths wide, wider
And you know you’ll be alright
Oh and you know you’ll be alright
This is not the end
This is not the end of us
We will shine like the stars bright, brighter-Gungor
So…..in my last post I may have been a little vague….that is only because on Friday, at 8:31am, I jumped out from under a counter in a Dunkin Donuts in downtown Chicago as my boyfriend was walking by.
That is right. I surprised my boyfriend in Chicago. He had no clue I was coming!
It might have been the best surprise I’ve ever pulled off!
Really, it was such a lovely week with my love Richard, my sister, her boyfriend, the lovely Hoskins, the beautiful Hannah, and wonderful run-ins with Amy and Suzie! Really, it was such a blessed week.
Highlights:
1. mega busing it at midnight
2. Eating Dunkin donuts and drinking Dunkin donuts coffee for b-fast with my loves…almost every morning.
3. exploring Chicago and the library
4. creating master pieces of foods.
5. riding the L…everywhere.
6. seeing Hannah.
7. seeing the Hoskins.
8. seeing Amy and Suzie
9. eating deep dish pizza at a sweet pizza joint
10. fancy double date with Katie, Isaiah, and Richard
11. Stained glass window museum
12. some huge gangster dude coming up to Richard and yelling at him, “WHY DO YOU KEEP ON SMILING AND LOOKING AT ME” funniest thing EVER!
13. seeing Richard’s face when I jumped out from under a counter and surprised him
14. spending three amazing days with Richard.
15. Dunkin’ donuts
16. walking everywhere.
Well to be honest, I am quite shocked and blown away that my post is being featured on WordPress’s “freshly pressed” homepage.
But I am very, very grateful, thank you!
And thank you too, to all you bloggers out there for your sweet comments and words. It means a lot to me, thank you!
Well, in other lovely news, I am heading out for a bit of a traveling adventure tomorrow tonight to see a very dear, dear, friend, one of the best, in fact. I haven’t seen this friend for a while, so I am doubly excited!!! And we are going to have such a grand time! *smiles*
Traveling by metro transit means….trying to pack light:
See you all in four days!
peace,
liz
Can we talk about this sun?
Nope, let’s just revel in it.
Soooo good.
Contents of my morning:
Today I am feeling like I could get on one of these in a heart beat and go see some friends, distanced, only by the miles.
The first time I ever stayed in a hotel by myself was in the quaint, lakeside town of Panajachel in Guatemala.
The walls were so thin that I could hear the tell-tale sounds of a Telenovela being watched from the room to the right of me, seeping into my sleep and dreams as Carlos, in Spanish of course, confessed his love to Maria, who scorned the thought of him….oh and this happened all-night-long. Of course there was the occasional sounds of dogs barking and someone throwing up…but you know, daily life, I guess.
I remember getting up early that morning, after giving up on the idea of trying to sleep some more, and tried to get a view out of my third-story, little bathroom window onto the streets below me, seeing if the world outside had yet woken up.
With no luck, I decided to head out for myself and see. So I grabbed my passport, bedroom key, and my little purse full of Quetzales and headed out to join the sun in waking up the town of Panajachel.
I remember greeting the hotel clerk and him responding, “buenos días señorita…¿quiere el desayuno o café tel vez? With a, “no thank you” I continued my way out and onto my morning adventure.
I started heading towards Lake Atitlán…..a crystal blue lake in the middle of a ring of three volcanoes. One of the most beautiful lakes I’ve ever seen.
On my way towards the lake, street businesses were just beginning to roll up their walls and the familiar smells of fried bananas and different meats greeted me as I walked past women and men bent over sizzling frying pans.
Children were also out and, almost all, dressed neatly in uniforms on their way to school for the day, stopping at a stand here and there to quickly buy a piece of candy and continue on.
As I got closer to the lake, I walked past a section of open markets selling the famous hand-woven, brightly-colored, mayan clothes that are very popular and well-known in that area of Guatemala. The little Mayan ladies would smile as I walked past and I was thankful that it was early enough that they had not yet fully set up their stands to ask me to come in and buy something. So on I walked, saying good morning to them and feeling the freeness of it all. It really is a good feeling.
Then I got to beautiful lake Atitlán and found a small cobblestone walkway that ran right along the lake’s edge and started following it. And man oh man did I find beauty!
Gardens of exotic, brightly-colored flowers pouring over their would-be, captor fences and almost onto the street. Trees bending down, almost touching my head, dumping the fragrance of their flowers onto all who walked under them, and of course, beautiful lake Atitlán lapping softly onto the cobblestone’s edge, with the views of the volcanoes like a painting behind it and the sun casting its warm, morning light everywhere.
Really guys, it was so peaceful and beautiful that I sat down and just gloried in it for a minute or two.
On the way back to the hotel I ran into some of my newly, since the day before, acquainted friends and they invited me out for breakfast with them. We went to this crazy restaurant that over looked Lake Atitlán and the volcanoes and ate fresh fruit and bread, eggs, and drank their delicious local coffee.
I don’t know why I remembered that sweet, little memory right now. But it makes me smile…and it makes me really want to travel to Guatemala and see my dear friends again. All in good time I guess.
Anyway, here are some pictures to go with the imaginations:
